In this article, you will learn how to deal with real conflicts.
Strategic communication allows you to analyze the situation we are in and decide immediately what to do. This method helps you develop solutions based on the issue you are facing.
Whatever the circumstances, there are four important strategic factors to consider: the issue, the goal, the method, and the result. Each step of strategic communication focuses on one of these factors and offers suggestions on how to overcome it.
- The point: Decide if there is a misunderstanding or a real disagreement.
- Goal: You direct the next move of the person in front of you.
- Method: Use the other person’s thoughts to persuade them.
- Result: Predict the reaction of the person in front of you.
By taking these four strategic steps, you can avoid common pitfalls where communication doesn’t work.
Strategic step one: Decide if there is a misunderstanding or real disagreement. When you do this step, you will avoid solving a wrong issue and you will have passed a big trap.
Misunderstanding results from people’s refusal to understand each other.
If there is a misunderstanding, the solution is simple; You fully understand each other and the issue disappears. When the truth is in a disagreement, you need a strategy to persuade the other person.
Second strategic step: You direct the next move of the person in front of you. Suppose you and your longtime friend and business partner, Sally, are in a real dispute over whether she should repay the five thousand dollars you lent her.
The first question you might ask yourself is, “What should I do?” But, to impress him, you have to ask yourself another question: “What do I want him to do?”
Most books on coping recommend pushing Sally to her bottom line – which means they can do it for you eventually. Sally’s near limit – it is recommended to push Sally to her lower limit – this means they can do it for you eventually. It’s helpful to focus on Sally’s near boundary – what Sally wants or can do for you at that moment.
Sally will eventually give you back your five thousand dollars. Well, what can she do at that moment? Of course, what Sally wants most at that moment is to reconsider her money situation and meet you later. To make the final decision, prompt the other person to make realistic decisions, one after the other.
Third strategic step: Use your own thoughts to persuade the other person. To convince Sally, you must explain what her mistake is and the reason for the behavior you want her to do. That’s why you have to deal with his attitudes and thoughts, right?
No, that would be driving things uphill.
As you struggle against his thoughts, take his thoughts as the basis for your own approach. People think that their own thoughts are the most persuasive factor. Whether you be rude or gentle; but first, start from the thoughts of the person in front of you and use your own thoughts to direct them to the behavior you want, as per your strategy.
The fourth strategic step: Predict the reaction of the other person. It’s pretty easy to get emotionally trapped in an argument, but many emotional traps can be noticed beforehand.
It’s a common mistake to focus on what you want Sally to do for you, to avoid a trap, before things get hot.
This article demonstrates a method for accurately predicting a person’s reaction. Then you take action, either with your pre-designed strategy or with another strategy you will develop.
Which is more helpful?
- If you listen to the person in front of you and explain, you can solve any problem.
- Decide what you need to do to get what you want.
- Tell the other person where she made a mistake, and refute her thoughts.
- When you realize what you need to do, don’t stop.
- Decide if there is a misunderstanding or a real disagreement.
- You direct the next decision move of the person in front of you.
- Use your own thoughts to convince the other person.
- Predict the reaction of the person in front of you.