Why can’t we boldly talking what’s on our minds and reach a conclusion that will please everyone?
If only everything were this easy? This part of the Myth of Hidden Harmony makes solving problems seem very simple.
Sometimes you want to vent your anger without thinking about the consequences talking of your words.
But if you pay attention to the reaction of the other person and your aim is to win the other person, then you need the ability to persuade. You can put strategy aside and attack without a care, but this method does not produce good results.
Determine what talking your purpose is. Will you express yourself or will you convince the other person? Don’t think that expressing yourself without paying attention to your words is a good way to resolve matters.
Does talking always help?
- The key to resolving issues is communication.
- The way to eliminate differences is to say what’s on your mind.
- Talking helps people understand each other better.
- If we understand each other, we can come to terms.
- When no one is doing anything, it’s best to talk more.
- Talking can backfire. The key to success is strategy.
- Think before you react during an argument.
- The fact that people understand each other better can drive people away from each other.
- Even if we understand each other, we may not be able to come to terms.
- Talk about a strategy before escalating matters.
There is no universal strategy
If it’s not a good and always valid method to say whatever comes to your mind, what is the universal strategy for clearing disagreements?
There is no such thing as a universal strategy.
There is no single strategy that will enable you to convince everyone around you or that you can use to solve every issue you may encounter at any time.
Many of my colleagues working on conflict resolution have sought a universal strategy for years. However, your current strategy can make you get along better with the other person in some cases, and in some cases it can hurt you very much.
A single pill cannot cure all ills, and no single strategy can solve all problems.
But there are steps we can take to develop a strategy that fits our situation.
Don’t rely on your current strategy
You might think, “If it worked before, it might work for me now.” At the end of one of the conferences I gave, a businessman came and asked, “If a client is not happy with the situation, I would suggest agreeing on an average figure. This has worked many times. But, I’ve always wondered: Is this a good idea?
No. Agreeing on an average number may have worked in many cases, but in another situation, it might be a very bad idea. Because many times the client will say, “Sorry, I can’t agree on a common figure with you. But we are very close to an agreement now. If you fill in the small gap in the number, we’ll agree,” I witnessed him say.
What’s wrong with proposing to agree on a common figure and not thinking it will work? In this case, you run the risk of not only failing to resolve the matter, but also complicating the terms.
No matter how many problems you have overcome in the past with your current strategy, you need to analyze the situation you are in and develop a strategy accordingly.