I’m at times when my emotions are stuck. Again, my thoughts colliding with each other in my brain do not keep me awake. I realized that I can’t look people in the eyes when they’re talking, they think I’m listening to them, they’re right.
I’ve distanced myself too much. I forgot the way inside. I woke up this morning as if I was at the end of my story. As if if I take one more step, the fairy tale will end with an unhappy ending.
It’s true, I have my mistakes too, because I can’t accept the mistakes that others emotions have made for me.
I am again in those hours when I was silent by shouting. Again, I’m wrong about the insiders. I don’t know how I held all the injustice in my emotions. Nowadays, even the smallest thing, I always explode from it. I keep running and stopping at the same spot. I watch myself from afar. It turns out that people are most sorry for their own helplessness.
I take my hot tea in my hand and hang my feet from a cloud that I have caught my eye. I watch the people I work with go one by one. My hands are cold in the middle of summer. Winter came to me early.
I am in those hours when I put my hopes to sleep and cling to the facts. For some reason, the hours that passed when I was happy don’t pass at all now.
Does it put the sadness to sleep a little?