There are five main reasons why sad people disagreements want to perceive ‘difficulties’ as ‘misunderstandings’ or ‘miscommunications’.
- They think that if they do not admit that there is an issue, it will be resolved. This was where Grimm’ih got wrong with his strategy. Grimm didn’t admit that Shackleberry had a management issue, so he thought the company could handle it.
- People think that if they say there is no real disagreements in relationship, they will paint a more positive image.
Others may think you are a mischievous person if they know that you are having a disagreements in relationship. They may blame you for the issue. To protect your reputation, you can hide the fact that you and your partner are having a disagreement. Discord in marriage? That’s like saying the marriage is going bad. It could have bad effects for both of you. That’s why he said, “There’s a slight misunderstanding. We’re not trying to resolve an issue, we’re just discussing it,’ you say.
- It may seem rude to discuss a disagreement openly. If you openly attack the other person’s point of view, that person may become defensive. If you create a discussion environment and win the discussion, the person in front of you may be spoiled. So it may seem more polite to say that there is no difference of opinion between the two of you, or that their differences are just a misunderstanding.
- In order not to anger you, people hide that there is a real disagreements. Jimmy wants to go out to play with his friends. His mother wants him to be home at six before dinner. Jimmy is disturbed by his homecoming time, he wants to stay outside until sunset. But he doesn’t say anything. Instead, she stays out late and pretends to be innocent: “I’m telling the truth, mom! I will never even go out of your word! I misunderstood you! I thought you said seven instead of six!” Then she thinks to herself: “How could my mother go mad that I really misunderstood her!”
- People pretend there is a misunderstanding to share the blame. “I thought you said seven instead of six!” Jimmy wasn’t just trying to get over his mother’s anger, protesting. He was also blaming his mother for being late: “I think there was a misunderstanding. Next time, we both need to understand each other better. “The issue here is not the communication of his mother.
How do we bring a real conflict to the surface?
If you’re dealing with someone who acts like it’s okay, that person won’t say they have a problem with you. You can ask that person, “Did we misunderstand each other or do we have a disagreement?” but you won’t get an honest answer. To determine the type of issue, let’s take a look at the following questions:
Do your interests clash?
Is there a reason why the person in front of you goes against your wishes? Jimmy had a reason to stay out late: He wanted to play football with his friends longer.
Does hiding the matter work for the person in front of you?
Considering five reasons why people cover up disagreements in the workplace, ask yourself:
- Does this person think that if they don’t admit that there is an issue, it can be resolved?
- Do people try to paint a more positive picture by not saying there is no real disagreement?
- Does this person prefer to cover things up for the sake of kindness?
- Is he acting like there’s a real misunderstanding so as not to anger you?
Has this person ever been seen hiding disagreements? This is a warning to Jimmy’s mother. His mother sees Jimmy adopting this behavior. Jimmy claims that whenever there’s an issue with his mother, there’s a “misunderstanding” – whether it’s about getting home on time, emptying the dishwasher, or taking out the trash. As soon as the alarm bells ring, he claims that the reason for his delay was a misunderstanding.
If you are having a problem with someone you meet for the first time and you are not sure how the other person will behave, “How do you understand the person’s thinking?” .
Is it an issue of poor communication?
The problem is poor communication.
People who don’t get along mean they don’t understand each other.
Insufficient communication is the sole cause of all problems.
During a disagreement, people understand each other very well.
People who do not agree with pregnancy understand each other very well. That’s why they stop talking.
Inadequate communication is only the result of the issue, not the cause.
The moment you define the issue as a real disagreement, you think in vain that you will get through it by trying to understand each other better. If you identify the type of issue, you will determine the correct method needed to resolve the issue. (In case of misunderstanding, you need to understand each other better; if there is real disagreement, you need to develop a strategy for persuading the other person.)
And in order to reach a solution, you must set a goal for yourself. But not only for yourself, but also for the other person.
Find out if there is a misunderstanding or a real disagreement
- Remember that a greater understanding of the other person will only help if it is a matter of poor understanding of each other. As we saw in the speech trap, poor communication is the effect, not the cause.
- Ask yourself, would the issue go away if we understood each other better? If you think the issue will be resolved, there is a misunderstanding, but if you think the issue will not be resolved, there is real disagreement.
- If the other person is trying to cover up a real conflict, the following question is asked to bring the conflict to the surface:
- Are your interests conflicting?
- Does it work for the person in front of you to hide the issue?
- Has this person ever been seen hiding disagreements?
Avoid using the ‘we can fix it’ method – don’t count on the issue to go away if the other person understands you. This method may work for some misunderstandings, but this method will never help you in case of a real dispute. Avoid trying to change the other person’s mind. Doing so is one of the most powerful ways to resolve an argument. Remember that people prefer to interpret the facts in a way that confirms their own prejudices, rather than admitting that they are wrong.