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How do you know that you love / are loved?

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Love is unquestionably a perception that anybody interprets it in their own individual way and diagnoses it according to their own criteria. Especially whenever using couples, the judgment sentences I encounter the the majority are: “He doesn’t love me anymore”, “If he really loved me, he would have said this or that”, “One gets jealous on the one he loves”, “If I don’t love him a great deal, I wouldn’t be so interested (I wouldn’t get involved)”…

Many individuals decide to like or perhaps be loved based on criteria they’ve got filtered from their own experiences. We can easily summarize the most typical of such “warning signs of love” the following: If he receives gifts, makes surprises and calls frequently, puts aside every value in the life and gives you priority if needed, wants to be in the same environment and physical contact at each opportunity, even if it’s not directly related to himself. if he believes in your rightness and defends you together in a discussion environment, if he shows that he is scared of losing you with assorted behaviors and words, “he really loves”… If these criteria don’t get a passing grade while in the report card, this time around the use of love in their bond is suspected.

Anyone decides that he/she loves someone by considering such indicators. Do I always think of him and desire to be by his side at each opportunity? Do I find that giving him surprises or buying gifts? Do I find that it’s the world aside? Etc etc… If we examine most of these carefully, we realize that they all are just indicators for adding value to ourselves or our loved ones. Basically, what perform unconsciously while determining these criteria will be to measure/assess value.

The illusion here’s dangerous nevertheless there is no universally valid unit such as meter, liter, kilogram in the field of human value measurement. Moreover, the life/existence value of all life is identical and there can be no doubt of scarcity or abundance. Another primary misconception is the fact that concept of love has nothing related to revealing or reinforcing human worth. Love is an extremely deep, binding, inclusive, and liberating emotion and is not made for such attempts at measuring.

Then precisely what is to like in order to be loved, how to be aware of? To start with, love can be an emotion that could emerge after you can see your lover because they are and accept this type of existence. It won’t depend on no matter if there are a few actions inclined to you. If your state/form you perceive without distorting it using your comments is cute and attracting you, you could like it. The next step is so as to stand next to this attractive entity for years without interfering with its status as it is. So to like; It would be the fact you prefer one thing you love as it’s without trying so it can gain another shape and you intend to enjoy this pleasantness for a time. There isn’t any negative colors such as anxiety, fear, sadness, unhappiness within this emotion; at most, it could be the sadness and anxiety that may be felt when the opportunity of ending this pleasantness relates to mind. However, even if a person is aware of this while in the depths, one wants to focus on the continuation on the pleasantness, and not on these possibilities. By this definition, love resembles an observer stance; To expect observing a being that you prefer very much, witnessing it more closely, understanding it and wanting that it is a permanent part of your life. To help make this permanent, you make payment for determination, you’ve got an interest and curious, and often you sacrifice some values ​​that are imperative that you you. But what is going to your lover think of all these, when you don’t, they’ll misunderstand etc. You’re doing so not because you want to, and furthermore, as that’s your style.

With this standpoint, love can be an emotion providing you with pleasure and satisfaction, experienced both by approaching and keeping a distance (on the basis of acceptance and respect). Love won’t flow for the purpose; It got its source from the heart and also you cannot prevent it from flowing towards its goal. If only such an affection, which got its strength from the nature, circulate both by you in your surroundings and from the surroundings to you…

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